This Wednesday I am going to see the first surgeon that I saw, he wants me to meet his oncologist. I think that's a good thing since this surgeon thinks the aggressive cancer is only a millimeter and the oncologist at the cancer center thinks it is 8 centimeters. As far as I can tell from the phone conversations I have had with doctor they are now thinking about giving me chemo before the surgery. Now I am not sure about all of you but the chemo scares me more that the surgery.
I don't want black veins and a bald head and in fact one of the things that scare me the most is if they can reconstruct my boob I will never be able to feel there and I will never have a real nipple again. My friends try to cheer me up with the ideas of cool tattoos there instead (I have always wanted a tattoo I just never knew where ) and I laugh with them because it's funny and I don't want to depress them., but deep down I want to cry. I never knew I was this attached to my breast and especially my nipple.
Well so far I see the one one surgeon an Wednesday on the other one on the 23rd of February the day after I get back from Jamaica, yes I had already booked this trip and I am going with P before I do any surgery, this is going to be the last time I go anywhere with all of my parts and I plan to get the lowest cut bathing suit that I can wear.what worries is I have been wanting to take her forever and have some fun now I wonder how to keep this off my mind for five days. so that shee can have the best trip of her life.
Any ideas would help and I will fill you in with happens next.
We can survive this if we have each other to talk on to.
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