the doc here now thinks know thinks it's 3 centimeters. remember this guy that told me it was a milimeter (once again same films) and I should start chemo right away and I still haven't met the oncologist here , he doesn't seem to happy about my second opinion although he did offer to refer me to a couple of his buds for a second, or I guess third opinion,
well I have a lot more to tell you about about today but at the moment I just want to put my head down and cry, My mom always said this and I will probably say it a lot in the near future "doctors differ and patients die"
I will go on and tell this story till the end and if anyone needs to talk I promise to to be better that my friends, who mean well but throw platitudes at me "you are too strong for this" "we will get through this together" "only the good die young" (I am fond of that one) and so on. I can't take care of them I can't wipe away their tears; I need someone to just let me cry and be scared and none of them seem to be able to do that because they are also scared. I don't need them to fix me I just need someone to listen to me freak out and cry.
So for an of you as scared and freaked out as I am please let me know and maybe w can help each other and for those of yo that don't know how to deal with someone in this condition maybe we can help you too.
talk to you soon MaryLouise
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