Well we had fun in Jamaica, mostly I stared at the ocean and thought, my friends don't seem to realize how much I have to thinks about. I did make some decisions! I decided to have the double mastectomy, that was a tough decision and my husband was not pleased, apparently at least having one real boob made him happier, that made me cry, because I was thinking that is I had the double mastectomy I might never get the cancer back and save ny life!
I got the same response from a lot of my friends, they don't mean to but they hurt my feelings everyday and I keep trying not to hurt theirs because they don't mean to hurt me they just don't know what to say and I know it's hard for them too, but I just want to scream sometimes HEY GUYS I H AVE CANCER.
Anyway onto new new news I am having the surgery on the 22nd of march and they are going to remove both my breasts (no not scared at all) and the plastic surgeon is going to start the process of giving them back, I hear it's about a 7 to 8 hour surgery and then I still have a long way to go, I have to go back every month or so tho have the saline bags blown more and more until they are way bigger (huge) than they are supposed to be so the skin can stretch enough to lie naturally.
Well that's the news for today this weekend I have to go and meet the psychiatrist because apparently some people get depressed after they have their boobs removed (ya think?) so I should have someone to talk to about this odd depression that happens after a double mastectomy. I am a little curious about how they are going to explain the cause of this depression(seriously they are going to explain that to me)
Anyway I will be back withmore thoughts, feelings and news!
With luck I will still be talking to ya'll in a month.
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